


About Love

by silvertrails



Series: Our Love [3]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 14:45:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11785338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvertrails/pseuds/silvertrails
Summary: Maedhros speaks with Nerdanel about his feelings for Fingon.





	About Love

**About Love  
** By CC  
September, 2006 

This is an amateur effort and does not intend to infringe on the rights of J.R.R. Tolkien. No profit is made and no harm is intended. 

The story is set in Tirion, YT 1281. Maedhros is fifty years old, and Fingon is almost forty years old. 

Thank you to alexcat for the beta job. =)

* * *

Maitimo sighed, leaning on his work-table as he tried to fix the copper wind spinner he had been trying to make for the last few days. His father had forbidden him to do anything else until he finished making the damn trinket. It had mattered little to him three days ago, but Findekano was coming today and Maitimo wanted to be free to go out with his cousin. They had agreed to go to Finwë’s stables and practice for the next horse race. Maitimo had tried to explain this to his father, but Fëanaro had frowned and told him that he should stop wasting his time with those races. 

Wind spinners were a tricky thing to make, as Maitimo had learned after hours trying to make one that actually spun. He was more used to make things like small copper animals, and he had started to work with silver for the occasional jewels for his female kin. He had also learned how to make copper headbands after a whole afternoon watching his grandfather work. Mahtan had taught him how to work copper into a thin sheet without breaking it. Fëanaro had been pleased with the results, and had given Maedhros this new task to test his skills. 

_I will make this thing spin even if I have to call up a mighty wind..._

It would be nice if he were actually able to do such a thing, Maedhros thought as he lifted the thing to eye level. It was not moving at all. He cursed loudly. Copper wind spinners were supposed to spin with the softest breeze. Frustrated, Maitimo placed the spinner on the table and left the forge. It was time to cool himself in the well outside. 

He quickly hauled up a bucket of water and after drinking some, started to wash himself. His hair was braided, but more than a strand had already escaped and was plastered to his face, making him feel even hotter. Maitimo quickly unbraided it and took his tunic off. He was about to continue washing when he heard giggles behind him. 

Maitimo grabbed his tunic and turned around to see two elf-girls watching him. They were friends to Makalaurë. Noldor both of them, though Maedhros could see the Vanyar blood in the tallest one’s blond hair. He was quite certain that she was quite taken with Findekano. 

“Greetings, ladies,” he said, schooling his face into a pleasant smile. The elf-girls blushed and rushed off after murmuring something that sounded like a greeting. 

“Alkanë likes you,” a sullen voice said behind him. It was Makalaurë. He had grown into a wiry youth, with long dark hair and soft gray eyes. 

“She is too young for me,” Maitimo said gently. “If you like Alkanë, you should tell her, Kano.”

Makalaurë shook his head. “I don’t think she will ever notice me. She likes you, and Aurelissë is in love with Finno.”

“She is?” Maitimo could not stop the irritation from showing in his voice. Makalaurë stared at him, surprised and a bit suspicious.

“You don’t like to share Finno with anyone, do you?”

“Of course I do... What? It’s not a matter of ‘sharing’ Finno, Kano,” Maitimo quickly said. “I just believe that he is too young for Aurelissë.”

Makalaurë shrugged. “She is only forty-two, and Finno will be forty soon. I don’t think two years are important. Finno will have to wed some day and I heard Aurelissë say that she would wait for him to be of age.”

_Findekano is not going to wed that cradle-robber!_

Maitimo shook his head, trying to get some control of his emotions. He could not let his brother believe, or repeat, that he didn’t like to share Finno with anyone, even if it was true. 

“I thought you liked Isilmë?” Maitimo asked, hoping to change the topic.

Makalaurë shrugged again. “Isilmë is still a baby.”

Maitimo refrained himself from pointing out that Isilmë was barely two years younger than Makalaurë. His brother didn’t take it well when someone implied that he was too young for certain things. Tyelkormo was supposed to be the baby of the family now, even if the elf-brat would kick anyone who dared to call him so. 

“You are right,” Maitimo said seriously. “I should have realized. I just thought that having been your childhood friend...” 

Makalaurë rolled his eyes. “I should be going. I promised Turko to take him to the woods today, and you know how he can be. He wants to hunt rabbits again. I cannot understand why, but Mama said I had to keep an eye on him.”

“Of course,” Maitimo said, hiding a smile. Makalaurë had not been as demanding as Tyelkormo at his age, but he had taken to leaving the house unnoticed just to follow a bird and hear it sing. Maedhros donned his tunic as he watched his brother leave, his mind still going through Makalaurë’s words. Aurelissë was in love with Findekano, and was waiting for them both to come of age. Maitimo wondered if his cousin knew, and if he returned her feelings. 

He was not prepared for the jealousy that flared in his chest at the thought. It was madness. Findekano was male and close kin. It was an impossible union, and worse, his cousin was still underage. Findekano would marry eventually, as was the elves’ way. Male and female elves had woken in Cuivienen long ago, and had known they were to be mates. Maedhros himself was supposed to be looking for a wife. Uncle Arafinwë had bonded with Earwën, King Olwë’s daughter, a year ago. It was Maitimo’s turn.

It would help if Maitimo liked elf-maidens that way, and if Findekano were not so beautiful with those soft dark tresses and the dreamy gray eyes. It was a different kind of beauty, not the soft and sweet grace of elf-maidens, but it was the kind that made Maitimo’s spirit sing.

He was lost. His family would be horrified if they knew. His parents... Maitimo trembled just to think of his parents’ reaction. Not to mention Uncle Nolo’s and Auntie Anairë’s. They would never trust him again. They would forbid Findekano to visit the house or even talk to him. That thought alone made Maitimo’s heart ache. He sighed. It would be better if he returned to work. Findekano was going to come soon and that damned wind spinner had yet to spin. 

Maitimo worked feverishly for the next hour, and finally managed to make the spinner right. He hung it where his father could see it and hurried to the house. Telperion’s light was already weakening. Findekano would come after the second blending of the lights and Maitimo didn’t want to make his cousin wait. He bathed and changed clothes, and had just finished braiding his hair when there was a soft knock on his door. It was his mother. 

“I saw Finno in the forge,” she said, searching his face with knowing eyes. Maitimo looked away uneasily. 

“Then I must hurry. I promised to go riding with him...”

“I believe that he is talking to your father.”

“What?”

She frowned slightly. “I know they tend to clash, but your father checks himself when it comes to Finno. There is no need to look so scared, Maitimo.”

Maitimo nodded, a nervous laugh escaping his lips. “You are right, Mama... It’s just that... Never mind.”

Nerdanel came closer and placed a hand on his face, making him look at her. “Why are you so nervous, my son?” 

Maitimo opened his mouth and tried to say something, but no sound came out. He could not really tell his mother that he was in love with his underage male cousin, could he? 

“It is about Finno, isn’t it?” she asked softly. “He is the reason why you are not interested in elf-maidens.” 

Maedhros gasped softly, shocked beyond measure that his mother knew his secret, and that she was not condemning him. There was acceptance in her eyes, and compassion. The burden Maitimo had been carrying since he had realized how he felt about Findekano eased a little. He nodded and forced himself to look into her eyes.

“I am in love with him, Mama.”

“Does he know?” 

Maitimo shook his head. “I would never disturb him with my... perversion.”

“Love is never a perversion, Maitimo,” his mother said softly. “Love between two male elves is not unheard of, though it is not our way.”

“Are there others... like me?” 

“There have been, but they never found happiness. I wish I could promise that you will be the first to find it, but I’m afraid that if you decide to act upon those feelings, your path will not be easy.”

“Even if Finno felt the same, Father would never understand.”

“No, he would not.”

“And Uncle Nolo would not either.”

“I don’t think so, Maitimo.”

Maitimo nodded, and when his mother embraced him, he gathered her close and rested his head on her hair. Her acceptance meant so much! He had feared rejection, and at least now he knew that his mother would never turn her back on him.

“Will you tell Finno when the time comes?”

“Why would I?” he asked almost bitterly. “He will probably marry Aurelissë. I will have to marry too. I know Father is expecting me to look for a wife.”

“Maitimo...”

“There is no other way out of this that I can see or think of, Mama. I have to marry and stay away from Finno.”

“Don’t be rash, my son. Wait and see what fate brings. Look into Findekano’s eyes, and you will see the truth. Always protect him, Maitimo. He will be loyal to you until the end...”

A chill ran down Maitimo’s spine and he withdrew a little to look into his mother’s eyes. Nerdanel was looking ahead, her eyes glazed, her skin cold to the touch. Maitimo placed his hands on her shoulders. 

“Mama? Mama, you are scaring me. What is fate going to bring? And what end are you speaking about? Will something happen to Finno?”

Nerdanel shook her head, her eyes returning to life. “All I know is that your lives are linked, my son. Maybe... maybe I have seen the difficult times to come. I cannot say.”

“Maybe I should stay with you,” Maitimo said carefully. “I can tell Findekano to come tomorrow.”

She smiled wanly. “No, there is no need to do that, my son. I am well. Go now, and don’t tell your father about this. You know he never takes it well.”

Maitimo was not convinced that it was a good idea to leave her alone, but he knew his mother enough not to argue with her. He kissed her forehead and promised not to tell his father. As he rushed outside the house, her words still rang in his head. What had his mother seen? She had said to look into Findekano’s eyes, and that their lives were linked. Hope started to grow in Maitimo’s heart, and he hoped that his mother was right and that their fate was to be together.


End file.
